I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
