do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
