It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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