just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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