I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
you never un-have a 4some
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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