so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
