I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
