I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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