Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
