Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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