Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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