did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
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According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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