at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We don't watch enough power rangers
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
