yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize