dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
