Rock
Scissors
Fuck
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
