Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize