with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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