I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I love having hate sex.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Also, beer. Big fan.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
