Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
