I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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