Where did you get a picture of my penis
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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