Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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