I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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