we have officially lost it.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
