I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
