When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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