Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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