i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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