the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
