I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
