i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
