Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
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