I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
