We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
