how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Alive.
So much puke
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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