Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
