just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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