If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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