you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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