That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
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Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
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You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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