Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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