You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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