belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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