he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
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