is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
the liver wants what the liver wants
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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