i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Boobs speak an international language.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
