French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
