He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I lost the right to judge tonight
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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