She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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