He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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