smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
