what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize