So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
they're like a gay fantastic four
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
