i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
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I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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