I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
