How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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