who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
